Fatherhood Re-defined for Good :-)
Through our charity I am fortunate to connect with so many applicants and Community founders from all around the world and I do relate to their journey most of the time.
But recently, I have learned a new side of Fatherhood.
Something I was not aware of at all. Because I grew up around a CIS father and in a gender bias cultural environment . I had limited myself to a certain image of Fatherhood and now that thought has made a drastic positive change.
I wanted to share this Blog because if you are someone who is transitioning and limited yourself about the whole "Fatherhood" journey and how to pursue it someday than you surely got to read this Blog till the very end.
For me, fatherhood is an intentional rite of passage that had already begun, even before I could start transitioning. i would always wish one day i will marry and be a husband . Later i will adopt and raise a child and be a father.
A part of me was always curious . I always invested a Brief amount of time looking for the right adoption center.
" The day dreaming process is wonderful and i can’t wait to have little ones to share it with." Knowing the fact that i choose Hysterectomy because i never wanted to carry a baby as a Man and i know even in the future will never be able to Help a lady conceive the natural way. Adoption or Surrogacy will be the only possible option for me to witness Fatherhood.
Unlike cis-hetero couples, our path to parenthood is never a pleasant surprise or the result of a reckless passionate night. Ours is a strategic endeavor with lots of moving parts, struggle to get approved, cautionary tales, and money.
I remember when i was dating my American girlfriend . She said "Mann we will let our kids decide what gender they would like to choose as they grow up " i panicked listening to those words.
i was so shit scared of the though that i would have to go through the emotional baggage of transition once again and that Karma will make me feel every emotion that my parent and family went through during my transition.
Oh Shit!!! Do you see how limited and closed off i was ?
When i think back of who i was and who i am now makes me feel better that i have changed and do not stick to my interesting point of views anymore and i owe this change specially to the applicants who have made me look in the world with a complete different prospective about Fatherhood.
Our children will always know and respect that gender and sexuality are a spectrum of possibilities. They’ll be loved and supported no matter where on the spectrum they may fall.
Its high time we stay true to ourselves and our Fatherhood. I had to learn this lesson too and i am glad i did.
Through my applicants i have come across Gay trans partners adopting a child, single trans man raising their nephews and nieces, trans man carrying a baby in their marriage, trans man open for surrogacy, trans man & trans women coming together in marriage and adopting a child, trans man being the new head role as the father for his siblings, trans man hoping for his own biological child and so many more reason that makes me feel what a beautiful generous world i am Blessed to be born in. Looking at the personal struggle that a Trans individuals goes through and still opts to support and start a family is incredible.
I respect choices and being single without wanting kids or father to a pet is awesome too because it works for you. I respect you.
The whole Fatherhood spectrum has changed for good and is now limitless to every possibility you choose.
For all the beautiful Ladies reading this Blog i appreciate your willingness for Motherhood, there is something special for you here.https://www.talms.org/post/could-there-be-a-different-way-to-approach-and-change-this-situation
Its not about gender anymore its the role that's is well played as a human and as a beautiful Human that you truly are. To all the beautiful men and women in fatherhood. Single, Married or otherwise with kids.
Trans man who were once called out mom and Trans women who were once called out Dad.
Happy Fathers Day to you all.
I have learned my fatherhood lesson through you folks.
I want our kids to be free to choose their most authentic selves and live a life that gives more than it takes.
Hopefully someday soon. I will be a better Boyfriend, a Better Husband and a Better Father.
Thank you all for bringing in this change in me.
Thank you for your teachings and inspiring so many life's.
Your make struggle feel so easy. Thank You for always portraying your strength.
Sending Much Love.