What if you had complete power to choose the outcome of your Relationship?
I lived a fairytale and than I failed it.
Some lessons are learned to close a same old cycle and some to open up a whole new possibility.
This Blog is not just another love story its my personal journey and I hope it helps you find your soulmate just the way I did and more importantly it helps you heals and find the love that will stay.
The word soulmate is always misunderstood with a soul tribe . We as a Transgender community are a soul tribe as we have experienced, shared and felt some intense emotional connection together. May be we connect so much so that we feel each other even at a distance .
When a person says I just started my Hormones , that's all we need to know and they do not say any further we know their journey till than and beyond that.
Isn't this amazing and yet we try to fit in and feel alone.
You my friend are not alone we are a soul tribe. We are hundred and thousand of us. Your are the most important one because you complete this tribe.
On the other hand we have this term soul-mate, the one we practically mate and make love with. With someone we can share our emotions and physical body.
And for most who feel its impossible to find that "One" . Well let me tell you I found mine and so will you once your ready for it. I promise.
Now don't claim your ready for love and that you were always ready for it but you never seemed to find the love of your life and even if you did find it was temporary and it did not stay. They ran away the moment they knew you were anything different and that you have a different reality than their, that you identity as a Trans and that they don't. I am not talking about this kind of illusional love.
I am talking about the real deal and this one won't run away. No matter what .
The distance, the gender, Your age, your colour, your language, Your country, your money, your education, your career would not mean a thing for my kind of love. Sounds like a fairytale .
Well good because it true. Love is Love.
Question :
Have you experienced this kind of love and still let it go ? Well have no regrets we all did this too. We found love and than later we doubted it and we let it go ?
or
You never experienced such thing and you never thought it can ever happen to you?
In either case your right . the Fear is understood. but the question now is how long will you doubt your worth ?
We are scared of good and we are scared of bad. is there really anything good or bad about being in Love ?
Do you love yourself enough to believe the fact that you deserve love? and that even if you don't get it from anyone else . its okay.
Do you find it easy to say "love you" to everyone around you even to the people who hurt you ? but you never acknowledged to stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself and say I love you ?
Do it now before you read any further I want you to say this 10 times.
" Your Name " I LOVE YOU
" Your Name " I LOVE YOU
" Your Name " I LOVE YOU
" Your Name " I LOVE YOU
" Your Name " I LOVE YOU
" Your Name " I LOVE YOU
" Your Name " I LOVE YOU
" Your Name " I LOVE YOU
" Your Name " I LOVE YOU
" Your Name " I LOVE YOU
Now Most of you have scrolled down and did not do it . Do you get my point here ?
It so easy for you to say it to everyone and anyone that you love them . But you make it so difficult for yourself to accept and feel that love.
" Your Name " I LOVE YOU
You become a love magnet when you love yourself first, not just your soulmate, or your soul tribe will come to you, But everything that contributed towards you starts showing up in your life with ease and glory. Make this your morning routine 10 times each day till you really get in your power to claim self love.
You can also add :
Your Name, How can I contribute towards you today ?
and See the magic Happen.
I wish I had this tools before or while I was dating my soulmate. But never the less you can learn from my mistakes and choose not to love before you heal yourself.
You should be in a place to receive as well as give love. You are mistaken if you feel self love is being selfish. There is a huge difference. Self-Love empowers and help you strengthen the bond. Being selfish might work for you for a while but shatters other persons life.
Be responsible in love its not a one way street its based on equal give and take. It helps both partners to grow. No wonder Relationships are often called a PATNER-ship.
If you Had your share of Breaks Up. I hope you have healed from them. I feel you. I had couple of girlfriends from the age of 14 and the journey was intense and motivating. None they less i hold gratitude for the past. Because If it was not for them you have not been so self empowered by now.
You got to experience Break ups .
Oh ! they are the most beautiful motivational time. Over a period of time they change the whole though process. They make you powerful, focused and better off on your own. They are also a path to get you to that "One". they help you grow and make you ready to get to your soulmate.
In 2018, I stayed single for a year . That was the longest time I was single in a while because I realized I had major codependency issue through out my life.In order to fill up my emptiness I would need a partner.
And every time to not feel left alone I would take the BS those beautiful girls would put me through. Long story short I felt helpless, powerless and needy for some love and affection. In early 2019, I again felt the need to find someone who would complete me. This time I choose a complete new platform to find my match. I took help of a LGBTQ Dating app to find my girl.
I am grateful of my elder sister for this advice. She Said " Mann your not able to find the right girl who will stay is because your looking for it in the wrong place, find someone who feels your #transition. Someone who can relate to your journey. Who is looking for love and has been in your shoes.
I found my match in two days. Sometime when things that are meant to be don't take time. it was just my time than. I got lucky that day.
My girl accepted my connection request and by than I had already imagined her wearing a lehenga ( Indian gown ) at our wedding. It was love at first site, but I didn't tell her that same day. I choose not to sound creepy although I was completely into her from the first day.
My american girl, was looking up for an Indian Husband on an Indian Dating app. Oh! she found the best one too. She was lucky too. lol.
One week of messaging and video calls and I could not hold my horses .
I knew she was the one and I said out to her. I love You. She took a day and came back replying out.
I love you too.
That was the day and then there was no looking back . One full year I experiencd a time of my life I always longed for unconditional love. Our Endless calls, non stop talking, daily video calls, wedding plannings etc. etc
We even discussed our deepest fear. There was nothing to hide from each other We could share every step of our transitioning. We could simple be our self. It was beyond reality. I was living beyond a fairytale.
We got our family and friends introduced to each other. There was nothing we could see could have interfered in this divine connection.
Until....
The distance and our insecurities from our unhealed past hit us.
Abandonment issues, trust issues, fear of unknown, losing our self, unable to see a future, unhealed hurts from our past relationships, childhood issues, acceptance issue, unable to see our self worth. you name it and we both began to witness it all.
We self sabotage our relationship something that had a future and would have been a happily ever after seem to loose its path.
No one to be blamed here surely not her. Because it was us who didn't take time to go within and fight our fears or heal our past.
She asked me for space but the fear of loosing her was much more than the need for me to work on myself, we both realized we had nothing to blame each other for. it was just not the right time. we realized it was too hard to live without each other but separation became more of a need to do than a want.
I tried, I tried a year to reach out and convince that things will be all good if we would just communicate, but I believe all the possible fears had taken over her and that made it more difficult for us to communicate.
One advise my friend when you love someone communicate even if it means a message, don't leave them out in the cold not been able to be there for each other is worst than an abandoned childhood ..
I Did not wish to leave, her deepest fear that no one stays was so true to her. That even when I said i am not leaving and would never leave. seems to good to be true for her.
I realized she truly needed space and needs to learn to heal on her own. No one can actually heal another person unless you have healed yourself.
I started giving her the space she asked for in the mean while I wasn't depressed or felt alone on the other hand I started using this time to figure out my life and were I lack and what is that I need to heal. I wanted to be a better person for me, so I can receive love too.
I started working on my career, my business, my goals and made time for Meditation , Reading Books by Dr. Dain Heer and Gary Douglas the founder of Access Consciousness and started implementing thier tools in my personal life . It helped, it healed me. I wish I could reach out to her and tell her this will help you too but as individuals we know what works for us . we just got to do it. I no more wanted to disturb her personal journey towards enlightenment.
But I thank her too because if it wasn't for her, asking me for space and giving me that space.I would have kept repeating the endless cycle and never ever changed.
Change is powerful . Change is for real . If it wasn't for the shift in my though patterns. I would have never been able to receive financial abundance, peace of mind, happiness, focus and ease in my life.
Trans.Alms is one of the materialized outcome of the change i witnessed . I found my life purpose that just did not change me but it changed the whole prospective of how I see the world and everyone in it. I would like to extend this positivity and make this world a much easier and happier place for all of us.
So if your looking for love or your in love already than first work on yourself.
You grow by loving yourself, this will bring in a lot of change not just in your love life , but your career , your finances , your family life , your friend circle everything would make a 360 degree positive change.
Take as much time you need to process your growth . Every seedling takes time to grow , to bloom and bear a fruit.
The process is overwhelming.
You will shade a parts of you and let go of so many things and people
that do not contribute towards you.
its an automatic process you don't have to worry about how it will happen and when it will happen ? but when u witness it Please be open to receive the change ,know it is best for you and for all who are in there with you.
You can find your own ways of healing and if you haven't find your own way I will advise follow Access Consciousness as I did .. This is not sponsored and I am not claiming it will make wonders over night . we all have our own pace of dealing with our healing process.
What's important is you take actions to Be You, The Beautiful You that you truly are.
Gladly, I am now friends with my girl. In real we never lost our connection i could feel our souls connected even from a distance and that's a Blessing already and if one day things get better it will work out or not either way I am happy and I am happy for her.
I wish nothing but the Best for her and if she is reading this Blog , which I know she will for sure .
Girl ! I want you to know I Love You and I will always Love you.
So please heal soon. Not for me But for yourself you deserve so much love. Your a Princess, Your a Queen. You Strength , Your Peace and anyone who would have you as his wife will be the luckiest Man. true me.
To all the Beautiful souls reading this blog, You have all rights over your life to be as you would choose your relationship status to be, do not limit yourself .
No matter what you choose.Your Right.
Make your choices wisely, Note that your creating your own life so be crystal clear on what you choose and let it show up in your life with ease and once it shows up be willing to receive it with complete grace and faith.
Love will find you and you will know it.
Be open to receive and give others as you receive.
Let love find you everyday through everyone.
Sending Much Love.
Mann Chavan